INT. MARSHA'S APARTMENT - DAY

          MARSHA sitting on the couch is reading a magazine. The door
          slams open, and in comes JOHN, hunched, dragging his feet,
          obviously at the end of a bad day.

                              MARSHA
                    Hello baby.

                              JOHN
                    Baby needs bottle.

          John moves to the kitchen side of the living space, opens
          fridge, takes and opens a beer bottle. He takes a swig.

                              JOHN
                    Something fun happened at work
                    today.

                              MARSHA
                         (looking up from magazine)
                    Oh?

                              JOHN
                    Oh yeah, we had a drug test today.

                              MARSHA
                    How can a drug test be fun?

                              JOHN
                         (evil grin)
                    It is when you drink a pint of blue
                    food colouring the previous night.

          He moves to the couch.

                              JOHN
                    Even better when you scream while
                    you're peeing in the cup.
                    (demonstrates)Aaaahghghgh!

          Flops down on the couch, ignoring Marsha's look of tested
          patience.
                              

                              MARSHA
                         (sighs)
                    Instead of trying so hard to get
                    fired, why don't you just quit?

                              JOHN
                         (with hauteur)
                    That wouldn't be professional!